Jackie’s Favorite Book
The following Jackie/Hyde fanfic drabble originated from this post.
For those70scomics <3
"What the hell is this?"
"Oh! That’s The Last Unicorn. It’s my favorite book”
"I thought your favorite book was The Mystery of the Ivory Charm.”
"No, that’s just my favorite book to read——The Last Unicorn is my favorite book.”
"What’s it about?"
"Yeah, thanks, Nancy Drew, I got that part—what else is it about?"
"Oh, I don’t know, I’ve never read it."
"What do you mean, ‘you’ve never read it’?!”
"Steven, we’ve been over this—books are too long!"
"Then how the hell do you know it’s your favorite book?"
"Because it’s about unicorns!"
"You can’t call something your favorite book if you’ve never actually read it before!"
"But I like to look at the pictures—see look, this one’s my favorite. I even have it bookmarked so I can look at it every night before I go to sleep. That’s why I brought it."
"That doesn’t count."
"Says…everyone who’s ever read a book!!"
"Ok then, why don’t you read it to me?”
"I said, why don’t you read it to me?"
"You do know that’s not actually how reading works, right? You’re supposed to read it to yourself.”
"Come on, it’ll be fun! We can cuddle up together in your teeny tiny bed and you can read a little bit to me every night."
"Jackie, I’m not reading you a bedtime story about unicorns."
"For starters, because there are lots better things I could think of doing when we’re in bed together!"
"Well obviously, but don’t you think it would be romantic?”
"I’d say more weird than romantic…"
"Well then, in that case, you’re just gonna have to get used to the fact that you’re dating someone who’s favorite book is Tiger Beat."
"Tiger Beat isn’t a book."
"It is by your standards, since it’s the only thing I’ve read cover to cover—I always skip the boring bits in Nancy Drew, like when Bess is eating, or when George is doing something manly."
"That’s not—fine. Give it to me.”
"Oh, Steven, you really are a sweetie-pie, aren’t you?"
"Don’t worry, you’ll love it, I promise!"
"Oh yeah, and how do you know that?"
"Because it’s my favorite book—”
"Even though you’ve never read it…"
"—and because you love me.”
"Whatever. And after this, we can have sex?"
"Only if you do the voices."
“The unicorn lived in a lilac wood…"
My opinion on Jackie from That 70’s Show.
I feel like the writers of That 70’s Show had absolutely nothing to do with Jackie’s character so they just made her a whore. She was on and off with Kelso. On and off with Hyde. Then ended up with Fez. Her character wasn’t even really all that funny but she did have her moments. She didn’t deserve any of the guys she dated. She’s a gold digging, selfish, vain, shallow, needy, insensitive, annoying, desperate, easy, evil, materialistic, greedy, bossy bitch. She’s a spoiled brat. I just really hate her character but I love Mila Kunis though. Lol. That’s how good of an actress she is.
Even if we take season 8 as canon (which I never do), Jackie being in a series of monogamous relationships doesn’t make her a whore. That word should in no way be associated with her character. She never cheats on any of her boyfriends. She forgives both Kelso and Hyde for cheating on her. She shows an impotent Kelso compassion when they’re broken up instead of gloating. She protects Hyde from being kicked out of the Formans’ house by taking the blame for Kelso’s pot in “Misty Mountain Hop”. The list of her positive qualities goes on and on and could fill an essay.
The only character on That ’70s Show I would ever consider calling a whore is Kelso. Not because he enjoys sex with as many partners as possible—but because he lies to his sexual partners about it. If he’d been up front about his intentions, then I’d have far less of a problem with his character. But he promises Jackie monogamy while screwing other girls behind her back.
All the slut-shaming of Laurie doesn’t sit well with me, either. “Home-wrecker,” as Jackie calls her, is a more apt term since Laurie does knowingly start relationships with guys who already have girlfriends or wives. But as far as we’re shown on T7S, she doesn’t promise fidelity to her partners. She tells Kelso, “You’re a tool, and I’ll use you as I please.”
Even when she and Kelso become “boyfriend” and “girlfriend,” Kelso still tries to get Jackie back (“Ice Shack”). Their relationship ends when Kelso learns she’s been sleeping with someone else, but that was the show’s way of explaining (sort of) Laurie’s first long-term departure from the show.
Random headcanon: Jackie made Hyde read passages of The Last Unicorn to her before they went to sleep. After she moved in with Donna (who vetoed ABBA), she compromised by making made him call her every night before her bedtime so he could reading to her
Hyde always made a stink about this, but he never missed a night.
(Years later, she dragged him with her to see the movie, too.)